PS – as a result of not being on FACEBOOK for the past year my death was prematurely reported, questions arising of my true identity and whereabouts (and “what was I really doing in California this past year”) greatly misleading, and conversations about my “using Interior Designer” as a cover completely fabricated.
It has been rumored that I was operating:
A. As spy for SONY gathering informatio
B. Undercover campaign aid for TEAM OBAMA and going deep, deep, deep undercover -even deeper than :”Deep Throat” – (Watergate’s Deep Throat, not the other one….and that’s pretty DEEEEEEP) in Mitt Romney’s head campaign office. Specifically to leak crucially timed and (potentially) nationally embarrassing information that would halt his surge in popularity among undecided voters.
FYI – Even though I spent many of my formative professional years in the Special Event & Catering Industry (as, amongst many other things, a bartender) ultimately I was not “The Bartender” at the Romney fundraiser who secretly videotaped him stating that he was “….not for the 47%”.
C. In disguise as Mike Anderson, Lance Armstrong’s former assistant, who fled with his family to New Zealand. Trained by WADA (World Anti-Dopring Agency) to infiltrate the USPS (United States Postal Service) group and help bring down Lance Armstrong for his use of; Testosterone, Human Growth Hormone, Cortisone, Saline/Plasma Infusions, and blood transfusion which aided in him winning the Tour de France title an (unprecedented) record 7 times. Thus exposing a controlling and out-of-control, selfish, manipulative monster and stripping him of all of his titles and banning him from the sport of cycling for life.
Even though these events took place in the past year (and as much I’d like to take all the accolades and notoriety) I am here to tell you that none of this is true. The breadth of my talents have been greatly exaggerated and I must put these rumors to rest. Please help me and spread The Gospel of Never Has, Is, Or Will be a Saint Kevin Steinberg.
Many Thanks & Sincerest Regards,